Every Day Above Ground (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mallorys_camera) wrote2025-08-12 09:02 am
mallorys_camera) wrote2025-08-12 09:02 am
I Can Pee Anywhere I Want
The heat is back, but not the humidity. So, the heat is actually... kinda pleasant.
I worked out ferociously at the gym yesterday and was rewarded by eight hours of perfect sleep (from which I did not wake up once) and wonderful dreams of a complicated alternate universe that I forgot two seconds after I woke up.
Three seconds after I woke up, I remembered that I was living in the Weimar Republik, and my mood plummeted.
Yes, the National Guard crashing around through Washington D.C. is strictly performative, and one might almost be tempted to feel sorry for the poor schmucks marching about in those heavy uniforms, toting those guns, in 90° heat & matching humidity.
Here's the thing, though: It's meant to normalize.
So when the real coup comes after Trump's minions fail to win the next election, we won't realize that anything outside the ordinary is going on.
###
Over on FB—which must be my window into the world today because I've really gotta chain myself to this desk and pound out the Remunerative verbiage—the über-performative Zen Buddhist priest posted her latest koan about how needing desperately to pee, she wandered into a McDonald's in downtown Berkeley.
Since a woman was just pushing her way into the woman's bathroom—the Zen Buddhist priest let us know she was a seriously homeless lady with a shopping cart & everything—the priest turned toward the men's bathroom—
Hey! I pee in men's public bathrooms myself all the time! Fuck those architects (who must all be males!) who never design enough stalls.
—and heard a booming voice: CAN'T YOU READ. GO TO THE LADIES ROOM YOU ARE NOT A MAN.
It was coming from another homeless woman.
I was hoping the punchline would be, And then I pissed myself.
But, no! The Zen Buddhist priest—humble Zen Buddhist priest that she is and tremendously adept at milking every last elusive "like" off the unseen audience of FB lurkers—meekly waited her turn because, you know, she's just a privileged white lady who needs a place to pee—
I just wanted to scream when I read this.
Are you fucking insane? I wanted to ask. People like you are the reason why Donald Trumo won the last election! There is no grace whatsoever in letting crazy people deflect a common sense plan! Nilch! Nada! Niente!
A single rogue commenter observed, Honestly who cares what a rando booming voice says?
Which gave the performative Zen Buddhist priest the opportunity to parade her coup de grâce: It was their house and I was a guest. The best they can hope for is a cup of coffee to nurse which will buy them a place to sit for a while. I can sit, and I can pee, anywhere I want.
Fucking gag me, bitch!
No, McDonald's is not their home, and the whole point of your story is that you couldn't pee anywhere you wanted.
Stories like this are why I hate liberals almost as much as I hate Trump.
I worked out ferociously at the gym yesterday and was rewarded by eight hours of perfect sleep (from which I did not wake up once) and wonderful dreams of a complicated alternate universe that I forgot two seconds after I woke up.
Three seconds after I woke up, I remembered that I was living in the Weimar Republik, and my mood plummeted.
Yes, the National Guard crashing around through Washington D.C. is strictly performative, and one might almost be tempted to feel sorry for the poor schmucks marching about in those heavy uniforms, toting those guns, in 90° heat & matching humidity.
Here's the thing, though: It's meant to normalize.
So when the real coup comes after Trump's minions fail to win the next election, we won't realize that anything outside the ordinary is going on.
###
Over on FB—which must be my window into the world today because I've really gotta chain myself to this desk and pound out the Remunerative verbiage—the über-performative Zen Buddhist priest posted her latest koan about how needing desperately to pee, she wandered into a McDonald's in downtown Berkeley.
Since a woman was just pushing her way into the woman's bathroom—the Zen Buddhist priest let us know she was a seriously homeless lady with a shopping cart & everything—the priest turned toward the men's bathroom—
Hey! I pee in men's public bathrooms myself all the time! Fuck those architects (who must all be males!) who never design enough stalls.
—and heard a booming voice: CAN'T YOU READ. GO TO THE LADIES ROOM YOU ARE NOT A MAN.
It was coming from another homeless woman.
I was hoping the punchline would be, And then I pissed myself.
But, no! The Zen Buddhist priest—humble Zen Buddhist priest that she is and tremendously adept at milking every last elusive "like" off the unseen audience of FB lurkers—meekly waited her turn because, you know, she's just a privileged white lady who needs a place to pee—
I just wanted to scream when I read this.
Are you fucking insane? I wanted to ask. People like you are the reason why Donald Trumo won the last election! There is no grace whatsoever in letting crazy people deflect a common sense plan! Nilch! Nada! Niente!
A single rogue commenter observed, Honestly who cares what a rando booming voice says?
Which gave the performative Zen Buddhist priest the opportunity to parade her coup de grâce: It was their house and I was a guest. The best they can hope for is a cup of coffee to nurse which will buy them a place to sit for a while. I can sit, and I can pee, anywhere I want.
Fucking gag me, bitch!
No, McDonald's is not their home, and the whole point of your story is that you couldn't pee anywhere you wanted.
Stories like this are why I hate liberals almost as much as I hate Trump.